I like to be accommodating and get along with others. Sometimes this means putting the needs of others before my own.
And this can be a good thing when the sacrifice is truly needed. However, it can be hurtful to you if you are depriving yourself because you don’t believe you are worth the expense in time or money.
FOr those of you who don’t know I live in a house that I share with my mom Patricia, my younger brother Patrick, his teenage son Seth, and our crazy dog Penny. It has worked out well. We share responsibilities and expenses.
I Love Coffee
One of my favorite vices is a good cup of coffee. I know the medical research flips back and forth on whether coffee is good or bad for you; but I love it.
There is nothing better than a hot steaming cup of coffee on a cold morning. It’s also great to share one with a good friend, spouse, or on a date. And I often reward myself by taking the time to really enjoy a good cup of cappuccino with all the electronics turned off.
We used to use the k-cups. They are easy to use and more economical than brewing a whole pot of coffee the traditional way. After all, its only me and my mom that drink it. That plus she drinks regular and I drink decaf.
A while back I found out that we could buy these coffee pouches. They cost a lot less or at least they did when I first started using them.
They also tasted just the same to me. I know maybe I talked myself into the idea that they were just as good so I could save money and help with the budget.
I’m well known for being tight with money. 🙂
Then one of the stores we shop at had a special where we got a free box of hazelnut cappuccino pods. I later found out that they weren’t decaf and came with a lot of extra calories.
Yes, I should have known better, but I love hazelnut and cappuccino is a special treat for me; so I chose to ignore what I knew in my heart to be the truth.
But when the box was empty and it came time to buy more coffee for me; I told my mom that I was no longer happy with the pouches.
I decided that a treat is meaningless if it isn’t what you really want. I really wanted the coffee that comes out of the pods instead of what comes out of the pouches. .
Actually, I would really rather have coffee made from a pot with ground coffee spooned into it and a paper filter. 🙂
But I realize this would be wasteful. I could never see brewing eight cups of coffee and only drinking two. Then there would be the temptation to finish off the pot.
I deserve Good Coffee
So, I told myself I deserve the pods. I told my family that the pouches no longer satisfied me and insisted that they go back to the k-cups. And oh how happy I was when they returned from the grocery store with a box of those little plastic cups full of real coffee. 😀
As you can see from the photos I am really enjoying it. The smell, taste, and satisfaction are back. And while its probably a placebo effect sitting in my living room watching TV with the family is even better.
Other Things I Deserve
And noticing how I felt about my using the cheaper coffee has lead me to realize there are some other things I do where I am telling myself I deserve less.
I Deserve A Clean Towel
One is clean towels.
When we traveled with the carnival, doing laundry was an even bigger chore than it is in your home. Not being the one to do the laundry I tried to do my part to decrease the amount of work. This lead to my hanging my towel up and letting it dry and then using it several times before getting a new one.
I really enjoy the smell of a clean towel after a nice hot shower. Being blind I find that the smells of a not so clean one can also take away from the pleasure of the shower or bath.
So, now I get a clean towel each time. And if I’m really lucky, I can time my shower for when they bring those freshly dried ones into my room. Awe 🙂
I Deserve An Easier Shave
My mom or brother will buy packs of razors. They aren’t the expensive ones, but I have a long association with saving. Even though I may have several brand new ones in a package in my room, I will still use the one in my bathroom over and over until it just doesn’t shave me good any more.
This one will be harder to break because I just don’t enjoy shaving. I’ve never been good at it, and I only shave because I am even worse living with a beard or must ash. 🙂
I am open to spending real money on a good electric razor if someone can tell me with certainty which one to buy.
So, now I will use a new razor more often. The more I think about it, the more I ask myself if I wouldn’t get a better shave if I broke this habit and used fresher razors.
Are You Denying Yourself?
Is there some pleasure you are denying yourself? Are you short changing your pleasure in an effort to save money or time? Do you tell yourself that its just as good as what you really want?
Do you put other people ahead of yourself when it comes to working on your big goals and dreams? Are you the dutiful one who is always there for someone else but never for yourself?
We Have To Value Ourselves
I ask because if we don’t value ourselves then no one else will. If we don’t see ourselves as worth good coffee or deserving a satisfying career then no one else will. And if we can’t spend pennies on ourselves, then how can we expect the world to spend their dollars on us.
My good friend Robin Hallett says that you will never receive abundance with a lack mindset. And feeling like I needed to save these pennies while sacrificing my own simple pleasure was definitely the wrong symbol to myself, God, and the Universe.
My favorite pastor Joel Osteen says that there is no where in the bible where it asks us to go through life subsisting. He loves to say that God intended us to be the head and not the tail. 🙂
And my dad used to say if running a carnival meant having to give up the occasional visit to a chinese buffet or not drink a chocolate milk with peanut butter crackers every so often; then he would just quit.
I hope my sharing this foolish behavior will encourage you to value yourself and feel permission to invest in yourself and reward yourself. We deserve to enjoy our time on this earth.
Honestly, no one can keep going without regularly celebrating their successes. Rewarding ourselves for an accomplishment is also showing gratitude and giving thanks for the ability to achieve that goal we were seeking.
I know this post is a little out of my usual styles, but I thought I needed to share these feelings. I hope you will share this with your friends. Maybe it will help them to value themselves more highly too.
I really appreciate your continued support. Until next time thanks and take care out there, Max